"The
curious are always in some danger.
If
you are curious you might never come home."
Jeanette
Winterson
"The
curious are always in some danger.
If
you are curious you might never come home."
Jeanette
Winterson
03: 02: september
11 used to be
august and everything after. ------------------------------
Guestbook
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200403 Glory Days Tomorrow is always another day. I remember a long chat with Paul long before, telling me something to the effect of how sleep becomes renewal, and that the next day always brings something to look forward to. I thank him for that. It has not stopped me from wallowing because of my mundane misfortunes, but at the end of all tears, when I've cried my eyes out to the point of a horrible headache, and have given up on hope on someone coming to comfort me, all I'm left with is myself picking my sorry ass off the floor, with the prayer for a better day. On the lighter side, Saturday was a great day because Richie finally got fired after calling in sick one more time this week and being given a warning letter. Good riddance. Dr. M said "that kid is such a loser," and I couldn't agree with him more. Dr. P is kinder and more forgiving so I guess that's a good mixture. But am I glad they finally let that loser go. He's just a waste of oxygen, I keep saying. Strength and patience.
What Dave Matthews Song Are You? brought to you by Quizilla 110403 To Err is Human, to Rant is Divine I got angry for the first time at work, and as this is my only outlet, allow me a few words of displeasure. I hate Richie, the Kennel Help at the hospital, and I should know better in letting it bother me. He's 17 years old and started work at the clinic a few weeks before I did. Two months in and I'm at the top of my game, and he's still a lazy ass. No problem about that, except that his incompetence falls under my responsibility. I don't know if I appear to be an innocent small town girl from some Third World country, or if it's because i just started work there, but I certainly do not command the respect my senior technicians get from this loser. I've been telling the doctors about how he is just not doing his job, and Dr. M has been wanting to get rid of him, but Dr. P is a little too nice. But tonight was the last straw. I needed cages cleaned and so I asked him to clean them. He answers back with "why don't you vacuum the floor?" Because it's not my job, I said. And he walks over to my checklist (which was made BEFORE there was ever a Kennel Help position) and encircles "vacuum floors." A couple of hours later, the cages are still not cleaned. Fortunately Dr. P comes in and in a sigh of exasperation, I say "I'm so sick of working with Richie." I walk into the office and told him what happened. Of course, I can only do this because I'm confident enough to know that they doctors love me. I take my job seriously, I never call in sick, come in late, or complain about the hours or about my job. I have potential, and I'm brilliant. For chrissakes I'm a DVM, with an education equivalent to the doctors! Of course, Dr. P reassures me that he will talk to Richie, and get rid of him if nothing changes. A good employee is always heard. I shouldn't be bothered because he's a kid and knows nothing about hard work or keeping a job. But I am. Because it gives me the impression that he thinks he is better than I am, being there longer. Or maybe, being a kid, he does not realize the wealth of experience and knowledge I have over him. Nor does he know that he will never be a vet because he's too lazy. I am offended because I work for negligible pay that I'm not even receiving. I work for an hourly rate that is only slightly higher than his, but I don't complain or have any qualms about getting dirty or being overworked, while he sits his ass eating his burgers. Or maybe (i think this is the real reason), i just can't deal with incompetence. Never have, never will. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I've set high standards for myself and the people I associate with. I've set my sights high. Fly with me or get out of my way. the choice is yours. 100403 Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds I
bathed four tiny orange kittens yesterday and had so much fun cleaning
them up. Bone pin removal on Rags, excellent radiographs.
Kisses to the Buckley docs that I'm sending out today. Wish me luck. You gotta love Diana Taurasi. She won the NCAA championship for UCONN against Tenessee last night. What a fantastic game! Now we're back to shivering in Spring. Sheesh. Its been Spring for more than two weeks now, but guess what nature had in store for all of us today? Snow. Eight freakin inches! Dr. P says it's been 25 years since it snowed in Spring. The last time was on Easter Sunday when Dr. P was a young boy, and they got three feet! Imagine doing an Easter Egg Hunt in that. Going home today a man stood beside me and started talking to me. It's been twenty, twenty-five years since it snowed in April, he said, globs of saliva drooling down his lower lip. Fortunately the bus arrived and I boarded quickly, i looked like an idiot with my hood on but hey, when all of your winter coats and thermals have been stored because of warmer weather, you can't be picky when it comes to fashion. Besides winter gave everyone the excuse to look apalling, why can't bizarre snowfall in spring? Got nipped by Cleo Leary, who was in for a dental with her sister Mariah. The art of cat restraint is a skill to be wounded for. The clinic bought lunch courtesy of Mrs. Kane, so I got Shepherds Pie from the Chip Shop on 5th. It's a (really good, they say) English resto in the Slope. I was happy with the meal, and I plan to make a lovelier version soon. Mmmm. So what else is up? It's our month anniversary thingie today. Sweetheart says she'll cook. Hope she'll call in sick tomorrow, too. 040403 The Companion Animal Practice My heart breaks when a patient dies, especially if it belongs to an old woman and it has been her only companion for decades. Yesterday Mrs. Kane sent a card thanking us for caring for her dogs who passed away this year. Kelly, a 16 year old black lab, died a few weeks ago, and she wrote her thank-you and said that she would miss her dogs forever, but she can rest easy knowing we loved her pets as much as she did. Enclosed was a hundred dollar bill, and instructions to Dr. P to treat the staff to lunch. :o) I have a bad headache, probably PMS-related. I'm late and it's taking its toll. It's been five years since i last worried about being pregnant, and that's probably one of the best things about being gay. No worries about suddenly creating another life. Don't I want to be a mother? Yes, I do. Honestly. It's even in my 5-year plan. :o) But that can wait. My parents are having second thoughts about travelling to the US anytime soon, because of scary conditions. I don't blame them. Even my sister in CA has cancelled her trip to Manila. No sense risking lives, with the war and a plague going on. So instead we immerse ourselves in work and our daily existence and try to forget the real issues of the world. Does that mean we don't care? Sure we do. But life has to go on. Rent has to be paid. People have to eat. That's life in the US of A as we know it. No complaining! Dr. P said the other day that he loves that I never complain. Then i got to thinking that complaining is probably an American pastime. They're never satisfied, because they don't know how good they have it over the rest of the world. don't get me wrong, my job is as exhausting as anyone else's but i'm too busy being thankful to be wanting. Besides, I'm a migrant worker. So, let me leave just enough space in this blog for this: This one goes out to all migrant workers who have sacrificed health and principle to remain in their countries of employment. This is for everyone who has ever said (or thought) that they'd do anything to keep their jobs and to stay in foreign countries, away from everything they've known. This is for parents who have left their children in another's care just to feed them from afar, and those who have courageously brought their families into a new world in the hopes of "a better life." My heart goes out to all of you, who have been through so much just to survive, when other places would have provided a more convenient life. God bless you all. (Naks!) Yesterday I left work with Kelly, who put me on a mission to play an April Fools' Prank on my sweetheart. I couldn't find anything suitable for her heart, so I decided to play a joke on Kelly instead. Results tomorrow. :p I've always liked this BG color. But I don't know how long I'm gonna keep it on Relinqwish. I've always liked the plain white facade. What do you think? Be my design guru. April Fools Update: I asked my bud Petrol to leave a message at the clinic for Kelly last night: "Hi. This message is for Kelly Dowling. Kia referred me to you because she says you can answer my questions better. This is Mr. Lyon, and you can reach me at (718)251-7389. Thanks." The number I left was for the Brooklyn Zoo (haha!) and Kell called them up this morning asking to speak with Mister Lion. She cracked up, called me up, and would not be outdone. So she told me that Chase called in sick and couldn't make it to work, so I'd have to come in at 3pm today on my day off. I called up Roz, who got upset, so I sulked in my chair for a bit until Billy (the other tech) called me up and said it was an April Fools prank that I fell for. Kelly even wanted me to go to work and be told it was all a gag. She probably can't get over how she got tricked by a first-time April Fools Prankster, a small-town girl from the PI no less. Haha! Thanks to Petrol for pulling this all off. I should use your million accents more often, eh? I heard that it was a busy day of pranks at the clinic. Billy fixed the PC so that no one would be able to clock in on time. And they put a stuffed cat in a cage and asked Dr. M to neuter it. Hahaw. I missed it all! I keep losing the Spice Channel so I figured out how to get it back. Whew, close call. Am I sick because I enjoy porn? Nope, you are sick because you won't admit it. :p I am a passionate and sexual person and I'm proud of it. Deal with it. On TV there is a special on HIV education. They're handing out hypodermic needles to crack addicts, which I thought was way cool. Does this promote drug use? If you believe that, you also probably believe that handing out condoms promotes casual sex. Na-ah. People will have sex, and people will use drugs whether you like it or not. You can help them do it safely, or be ignorant about it. Think: if you were given a box of rubbers or needles, would you suddenly decide to have sex or try heroin even if you had no previous intention to? I think not. I come from a country where you can buy needles, narcotics, and most everything over the counter. If i wanted to do drugs i'd have every opportunity to do so. On the other hand, substance-abusers will find a way to get their fixes no matter what you do. That's just the way it goes. Enough thinking. But yeah, I do miss it. Think, think, think and drive myself nuts. I'm now in a comfortable place where everything makes sense and I'm filled with so much love, so there's no space for lengthy introspection. Goals set, blinders on. I wouldn't be strayed from this path if you pulled me out of it. But then again, last night I smelled soap and cigarettes in the bathroom, and it reminded me of cheap motel rooms. I've been through so many picturesque moments and I'm thinking, i better write them all down before my new American life makes me forget, or I croak. Whichever comes first. So I wrote this thought down, along with the thought how the surface of a swimming pool looks bottom up. Isn't it a sheet of liquid mercury? I used to marvel at this sight everytime I surfaced from the depths of a pool, way back when I used to swim 100 laps a day, body moving like clockwork, mind relaxed and reciting scientific names of ectopic and intestinal parasites of domestic animals. I miss that fever I had for school. If i could just get that back again I'd ace my exams for sure. Now i'm just procrastinating and losing time being in love. Funny part is i can't imagine it any other way. Help! I
want to write, too, about my days fantasizing about being a cyclist. I'd
ride my racer road bike everyday imagining I could join the Marlboro Tour,
or even Tour De France one day. Magic moments zipping through the wind,
I was king of the world. Until my right handle bar caught the big bag of
the kropek vendor on the sidewalk, I came flying and scraping my knee a
meter on the asphalt. Blood everywhere. I found a bandana on the street
and tied it tight to my leg and completed my ride around the village before
proceeding home. I was 14, and I knew they would take my bike away if they
saw my injury. So I spent months healing under pants and pajamas and my
mother asking why i stopped wearing shorts. Anything to keep my face in
the wind. Anything to keep my head underwater, my
Then we all got old. I sold my bicycle, which i assembled for years from a lousy Taiwan cheap bike to an all-Shimano accessorized Trek titanium frame with carbon rimmed wheels. The 8-gear sprocket alone was a fortune. I saved all my money just to look at that beauty of a bike. And then I sold it to our carpenter for loose change. What happened? I started rationalizing, and then forgetting. That's the way life goes, i guess. :o) Enough!
2002: ~ this ember ~ ~ novembrrr ~ ~ september 11 used to be just marcos' birthday ~ ~ august and everything after ~ |
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